3 Weeks Down, 2 To Go (For the First Part). Overall, I'm getting used to being by myself, but I've noticed I'm getting a little lonely and depressed at times. I have taken for granted being able to talk to and confide in someone after a long day's work. Lately I've been frustrated because my knees and ankle isn't really getting any better which makes me not want to do my PT stretches. If Chris were here, he'd be able to give me a morale boost and a hug. But since he's not, I find myself wallowing a little bit. No crying, just a little bit of "poor Stephanie". The good news is I'm still doing my stretches some and working out some. I'm also looking at joining a gym so that I can take classes.
As for the homemaker side of me, I've done better. Last weekend, I vacuumed, did some laundry, and picked up. The only thing I didn't get to were the bathrooms. I'm hoping to at least do mine tonight. I am still slacking off on the cooking, but I've realized that if I make a big pot of something, I'm stuck with it all week long. That isn't fun. So, I am making a lot of sandwiches, eating soup, eating a TON of fruit, and relying only a little on frozen dinners. I did buy some ground beef last night, so I'll cook that up for various things. I have also started putting lemon in my water b/c MSN says it helps with water retention and your metabolism (FYI).
This next week should be pretty fun. Courtney and Matt are coming down Friday, there is a 5k on Saturday (which I will walk with my sister..so it's not too depressing), and Father's Day on Sunday. Then I can really star washing clothes and sorting clothes for Spain!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Happy Birthday Baby!
Today the love of my life turns 27! It just so happens that his birthday falls on the same day as his scheduled "Catamaran Jazz minicruise along the Barcelona coast". Lucky dog! Anyway, I miss him very much today and wish I could give him birthday besos. I love you and can't wait to see you in 2.5 weeks. Have an awesome day!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Week # 2: "Home Sweet Home"
Okay, so I have two weeks under my belt and in just a few days I'll be halfway through the first 5 weeks without Chris. I have titled this entyr after my beloved Motley Crue. I have spent almost every night this week alone and at home and have quite enjoyed myself. It seems that my sadness and loneliness is over and I'm settling into a routine. I've definately had some frustrations this week, but being able to chat w/ Chris over IM (since Skype hates us) several times a day has been really helpful. So here's my week:
Last Friday was the last night with my Dad. As of Saturday morning, I was alone again. After last weekend, I was very nervous about how I would do during the weekend. Turns out, I did just fine. Saturday I bought a TON of fruit and just had a nice day at home. I even worked out twice this day. Sunday was also pretty nice. I worked out, went to the pool. and saw Sex and The City 2 (I liked it better than the first; it's a real pick-me-up). Then came the work week. Ashley was gone for most of it, so I was working hard. The week went by very fast. The highlight: SYTYCD is back for real and I love that show!
However, like I mentioned I had some frustrations this week. After running only 1.3 miles on Saturday, my "post-tibial" something-or-other was hurting. Back story: after my March 5k, I started having this pain and up until Tuesday I thought it was my achilles; it's not. I ended up working out twice on Saturday and once on Sunday, but was unable to do anything on Monday due to the pain in my knees and ankle. I went to PT on Tuesday and I was still feeling very frustrated. I've paid about $300 for PT this past month and seemingly have no results. I left with a little more understanding about what's going on and some new stretches. However, I am still very frustrated and am afraid I'll never run again due to my genetic injury (I pronate very bad and when I bend, my knees always jut out to one side or the other). If I can't run, or do any exercise for long periods of time, I'm scared I'll get fat again...Speaking of which..I have had another frustration this week. It seems my abdomen is very bloated and feels like it's retaining a lot of water. I understand I've gained about 4 pounds since my engagement, but b/c of the water, it's more like 6 or 7. This has gone on for the entire week and I'm getting very tired of it.
As you can see, I have not given myself any positive or negative stars this week. I find that although I am ecstatic that I am not lonely and sad any longer, I am upset about my body and that has caused me to be lazy around the house. So, I don't want to give myself a negative score (and make myself feel worse), so I am abstaining from rating myself.
My goals for week 3: Continue to work out 5 days a week to the best of my ability and tackle my PT stretches. (My PT stretches tend to hurt my knees and ankle so it's hard to get them done). I WILL DO THE LAUNDRY! I will continue to stay on top of the dishes and clean my bathroom. I WILL COOK and not take the easy way out.
Last Friday was the last night with my Dad. As of Saturday morning, I was alone again. After last weekend, I was very nervous about how I would do during the weekend. Turns out, I did just fine. Saturday I bought a TON of fruit and just had a nice day at home. I even worked out twice this day. Sunday was also pretty nice. I worked out, went to the pool. and saw Sex and The City 2 (I liked it better than the first; it's a real pick-me-up). Then came the work week. Ashley was gone for most of it, so I was working hard. The week went by very fast. The highlight: SYTYCD is back for real and I love that show!
However, like I mentioned I had some frustrations this week. After running only 1.3 miles on Saturday, my "post-tibial" something-or-other was hurting. Back story: after my March 5k, I started having this pain and up until Tuesday I thought it was my achilles; it's not. I ended up working out twice on Saturday and once on Sunday, but was unable to do anything on Monday due to the pain in my knees and ankle. I went to PT on Tuesday and I was still feeling very frustrated. I've paid about $300 for PT this past month and seemingly have no results. I left with a little more understanding about what's going on and some new stretches. However, I am still very frustrated and am afraid I'll never run again due to my genetic injury (I pronate very bad and when I bend, my knees always jut out to one side or the other). If I can't run, or do any exercise for long periods of time, I'm scared I'll get fat again...Speaking of which..I have had another frustration this week. It seems my abdomen is very bloated and feels like it's retaining a lot of water. I understand I've gained about 4 pounds since my engagement, but b/c of the water, it's more like 6 or 7. This has gone on for the entire week and I'm getting very tired of it.
As you can see, I have not given myself any positive or negative stars this week. I find that although I am ecstatic that I am not lonely and sad any longer, I am upset about my body and that has caused me to be lazy around the house. So, I don't want to give myself a negative score (and make myself feel worse), so I am abstaining from rating myself.
My goals for week 3: Continue to work out 5 days a week to the best of my ability and tackle my PT stretches. (My PT stretches tend to hurt my knees and ankle so it's hard to get them done). I WILL DO THE LAUNDRY! I will continue to stay on top of the dishes and clean my bathroom. I WILL COOK and not take the easy way out.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Week #1: "Here I Go Again On My Own"
So Chris left me last Thursday evening and has been in Spain for a week (tomorrow). I decided that I would chronicle my Summer life in my blog. I figured it should be very interesting (seeing as how Chris does everything for me at home). Each week will have a different song title to describe my week (and rating things I accomplish, or lack there of). Here's what happened in Week #1:
I was super worried that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep alone in the apartment because I envision people breaking in to rape and kill me (and have been doing so since college). The last time he was gone I barely slept and kept my keys next to the bed at all times (in case I had to jump out my 3rd story window and hobble to my car, of course). However, color me surprised when I fell asleep no problem. In fact, every night I've been home alone, I find that as long as I stay up until I'm really tired, I sleep just fine. YAY! I give myself ***** (5 stars) on this one!
After the first night alone, I went to Mom's to stay w/ her and have a girls' weekend. We had a lot of fun and I was really sad to come back home Sunday morning. Sunday and Monday (Memorial Day) were kinda hard for me. I broke down a little bit and actually cried (which was something I vowed not to do). I filled my time with movies, True Blood reruns, and the pool, but it's hard being so isolated with no one around to spend time with. I give myself * (1 star) on dealing with a weekend alone.
I was able to brush myself off and pick myself up in time to return to work on Tuesday. In fact, I was feeling so pumped that I not only went grocery store, but I cooked my own dinner. Now, that may seem really mundane for most of you, but let me tell you this is a big deal in my world. It seems that, usually, any time I touch a knife to cut something up, I always knick myself, always! However, I cooked myself a steak, peppers, and onion quesadilla (but fajita style) and most of it came out very well. I had too much of all 3 components and the peppers weren't thin enough, but overall, it was edible and yummy. I give myself **** (4 stars) on this.
Last night (Wednesday), my Dad came to visit to ease my loneliness. He is staying until Saturday morning. It is nice to see him because I rarely get any time, let alone QT, with him.
Another one of my goals has been to keep the house (especially the kitchen) a lot cleaner. In one week, I have kept the kitchen and the sink clean and have been on top of the dishes. Funny side note: 1 person = 1 load of dishes per week. 2 people = 4-6 loads of dishes per week. Crazy huh? I haven't done so great with the laundry though. I have not done any of it, or cleaned my bathtub, or vacuumed. I give myself *** (3 stars) on cleaning this week.
Now, as of tomorrow, I will be on Week #2. My hopes are as follows 1) I will not cry, 2) I will not be super lonely and sad this weekend, 3) I will cook 2 new meals this week, and 4) I will continue to keep up with the dishes and tackle more domestic duties.
I was super worried that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep alone in the apartment because I envision people breaking in to rape and kill me (and have been doing so since college). The last time he was gone I barely slept and kept my keys next to the bed at all times (in case I had to jump out my 3rd story window and hobble to my car, of course). However, color me surprised when I fell asleep no problem. In fact, every night I've been home alone, I find that as long as I stay up until I'm really tired, I sleep just fine. YAY! I give myself ***** (5 stars) on this one!
After the first night alone, I went to Mom's to stay w/ her and have a girls' weekend. We had a lot of fun and I was really sad to come back home Sunday morning. Sunday and Monday (Memorial Day) were kinda hard for me. I broke down a little bit and actually cried (which was something I vowed not to do). I filled my time with movies, True Blood reruns, and the pool, but it's hard being so isolated with no one around to spend time with. I give myself * (1 star) on dealing with a weekend alone.
I was able to brush myself off and pick myself up in time to return to work on Tuesday. In fact, I was feeling so pumped that I not only went grocery store, but I cooked my own dinner. Now, that may seem really mundane for most of you, but let me tell you this is a big deal in my world. It seems that, usually, any time I touch a knife to cut something up, I always knick myself, always! However, I cooked myself a steak, peppers, and onion quesadilla (but fajita style) and most of it came out very well. I had too much of all 3 components and the peppers weren't thin enough, but overall, it was edible and yummy. I give myself **** (4 stars) on this.
Last night (Wednesday), my Dad came to visit to ease my loneliness. He is staying until Saturday morning. It is nice to see him because I rarely get any time, let alone QT, with him.
Another one of my goals has been to keep the house (especially the kitchen) a lot cleaner. In one week, I have kept the kitchen and the sink clean and have been on top of the dishes. Funny side note: 1 person = 1 load of dishes per week. 2 people = 4-6 loads of dishes per week. Crazy huh? I haven't done so great with the laundry though. I have not done any of it, or cleaned my bathtub, or vacuumed. I give myself *** (3 stars) on cleaning this week.
Now, as of tomorrow, I will be on Week #2. My hopes are as follows 1) I will not cry, 2) I will not be super lonely and sad this weekend, 3) I will cook 2 new meals this week, and 4) I will continue to keep up with the dishes and tackle more domestic duties.
Monday, May 24, 2010
T Minus 3 days
So, I just found Chris' blog ( http://planestrainsandspaniards.blogspot.com/ ) and it made me think about him leaving. I am so proud of myself for how I've done so far. The last time Chris left me, he went to River Falls, WI for 4 days (Summer 2008). I cried a lot before he left and carried on and such. I realize this did me no good, but waste the time I had with him before he left. I know 4 days sounds silly to you folks, but previous to this, the longest we had been apart is about 13 hours. So, now he's leaving for 8 weeks to go study in Barcelona and I have managed to only cry sporadically for like 2 minutes at a time. His newest blog referenced him measuring time by "lasts" not days. I realize I've done this too. Examples: This past weekend was our last weekend together. Tonight we are going on our last date night. Tomorrow we are going to Suzanne and JT's for the last time before he leaves. I have found that I am able to have fun and really savor the time I have with him. He will leave me on Thursday and leave the US on Friday. I have 5 weeks to go before Lil and I got to Barcelona (and Pamplona). Then, it's the home stretch, only 12 days until he returns.
In order to stay happy I keep thinking about the positives: 1) I can watch Big Brother and SYTYCD and he won't yell at me. 2) I can watch any soap opera of my choosing. 3) No Mythbusters, Family Guy, Simpsons, etc. (YAY!) 4) Groceries will be half as much (as will gas and 5k admissions). 5) I get to take up the whole bed instead of cramping in between Chris, Booger, and Riley. 6) I will have skype. 7) I will learn to cook and take care of myself (Chris waits on me hand and foot and is amazing for that).
We'll see how depressed I get, but for now, I'm positive. The only truly scary thing is that I am afraid to go to sleep all alone at night.
I love you Baby and can't wait to have a rendezvous in Europe (just like some old movie, I'm sure).
In order to stay happy I keep thinking about the positives: 1) I can watch Big Brother and SYTYCD and he won't yell at me. 2) I can watch any soap opera of my choosing. 3) No Mythbusters, Family Guy, Simpsons, etc. (YAY!) 4) Groceries will be half as much (as will gas and 5k admissions). 5) I get to take up the whole bed instead of cramping in between Chris, Booger, and Riley. 6) I will have skype. 7) I will learn to cook and take care of myself (Chris waits on me hand and foot and is amazing for that).
We'll see how depressed I get, but for now, I'm positive. The only truly scary thing is that I am afraid to go to sleep all alone at night.
I love you Baby and can't wait to have a rendezvous in Europe (just like some old movie, I'm sure).
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Simply Violet...is Simply Awesome!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Soapbox Rant # 1
Okay, so I have strong opinions and from time to time, I need to rant. Welcome to my very first full-on Soapbox Rant.
Topic: Facebook and Arizona Immigration
My Stance on The Issue: In MY very educated opinion on the matter, the Arizona Immigration law is unconstitutional. It is sending us back to the Jim Crow days by promoting racism. Sarah Palin says that it's not going to lead to racial profiling. How will it not? Who are the cops going to be targeting? Freakin people who look Mexican. I tell you what, if I was in AZ for a vacation and some cop came up to me telling me to prove my citizenship, I'd be freakin' pissed. Not since Nazi Germany were a whole race of people required to carry around their papers due to fear. I understand that the Nazi Germany and AZ are two different things. I, more than anyone, understand this since my own family died in concentration camps...but at its hateful core, they are very similar. Now, I am for Immigration reform. I am tired of all of the money spent on Immigration crap and the babies born b/c of it. I do insurance stuff all day and I know all about Medicaid. However, this is NOT the way to handle it.
The Real Reason for my Soapbox: We all have our opinions. Hell, we all post our opinions on Facebook and Twitter all day everyday. But here's the thing, if you don't agree with someone's political opinion do you always put them on blast and be disrespectful to them? I hope not. I sure don't. If someone puts up any political opinion that I disagree with, I choose to roll my eyes and simply scroll down. I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion, even those I view as moronic and ridiculous. If I commented on every Republican's criticism of my good friend "Barry" (Barack Obama) then I would not only have 75% less friends, but I'd have my Mom's entire family wiped off the grid. So, I shut my mouth....However, not everyone does. People who are not even my IRL friends are bashing me and even some family members. They are being hurtful and disrespectful and insinuating I am brainwashed. (BTW, I am not brainwashed and have been a card-carrying member of the Democratic party for 20 years, at least. My opinions just so happen to coincide with the Democratic party so please stop telling me "Oh you'll grow out of it". )
So please, if you see a political status of mine (and really anyone else you consider a friend or care about), think before you type. If you can't stick to the issues and keep it classy and have to be mean and so "unchristianlike" then maybe you should do as the Golden Rule says, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". From now on, if you choose to ignore this and be rude and disrespectful to me, I will not only delete you from my Friends list, but also my life. Friends and family included!
Topic: Facebook and Arizona Immigration
My Stance on The Issue: In MY very educated opinion on the matter, the Arizona Immigration law is unconstitutional. It is sending us back to the Jim Crow days by promoting racism. Sarah Palin says that it's not going to lead to racial profiling. How will it not? Who are the cops going to be targeting? Freakin people who look Mexican. I tell you what, if I was in AZ for a vacation and some cop came up to me telling me to prove my citizenship, I'd be freakin' pissed. Not since Nazi Germany were a whole race of people required to carry around their papers due to fear. I understand that the Nazi Germany and AZ are two different things. I, more than anyone, understand this since my own family died in concentration camps...but at its hateful core, they are very similar. Now, I am for Immigration reform. I am tired of all of the money spent on Immigration crap and the babies born b/c of it. I do insurance stuff all day and I know all about Medicaid. However, this is NOT the way to handle it.
The Real Reason for my Soapbox: We all have our opinions. Hell, we all post our opinions on Facebook and Twitter all day everyday. But here's the thing, if you don't agree with someone's political opinion do you always put them on blast and be disrespectful to them? I hope not. I sure don't. If someone puts up any political opinion that I disagree with, I choose to roll my eyes and simply scroll down. I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion, even those I view as moronic and ridiculous. If I commented on every Republican's criticism of my good friend "Barry" (Barack Obama) then I would not only have 75% less friends, but I'd have my Mom's entire family wiped off the grid. So, I shut my mouth....However, not everyone does. People who are not even my IRL friends are bashing me and even some family members. They are being hurtful and disrespectful and insinuating I am brainwashed. (BTW, I am not brainwashed and have been a card-carrying member of the Democratic party for 20 years, at least. My opinions just so happen to coincide with the Democratic party so please stop telling me "Oh you'll grow out of it". )
So please, if you see a political status of mine (and really anyone else you consider a friend or care about), think before you type. If you can't stick to the issues and keep it classy and have to be mean and so "unchristianlike" then maybe you should do as the Golden Rule says, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". From now on, if you choose to ignore this and be rude and disrespectful to me, I will not only delete you from my Friends list, but also my life. Friends and family included!
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